I am contemplating the grace that has been extended to me. This year has been one of great emotional difficulty. My heart has grieved for many that I love as they have experienced loss, caused train wrecks in their lives, experienced numerous transitions and inflicted pain on others (me included).
I have also experienced a great amount of failure of my own. My ability to love has been challenged and I have found myself lacking. My ability to minister and give endlessly has been sapped. I had to repent because I stopped turning to God for my strength and tried to do it myself. My pride told me to trust NO ONE, and as I believed that lie, I grew more and more frustrated.
The humility that comes with repentance is hard to contain. I FEEL like I deserve nothing but punishment, yet God has given me an incredible gift in this team. They are fun. They are encouraging. They are cooperative. They are gracious. They are loving. I don't deserve them.
I don't deserve.....and that is the point. We don't deserve Grace, and that is why it is what it is. Grace...... Grace brings us to humility. It is your Kindness Lord, that leads me to repentance. It is your kindness that causes me to remember that I need you. Without you, I am nothing.